off

"Some days are like that," my friend told me. He gave me my cup of coffee and settled into the chair next to me.

I remember reading a book about the nonsensical ways in that people seem to interact with either their persona developed internally for affirmation, either on a daily basis or mental backup.... or about the sociopath who is intently bent on seeking emotional suckage and appreciation from others.

Kafka did this brilliantly. The image of a gigantic beetle struggling to adjust and to be adjusted to, has forever stuck in the far crevasse of my brain. Pelevin took this another step further in the form of a mosquito.

Today was reflective of that. I rarely wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I'm usually happy and quite positive when I'm running about. Or if anything, the quick 6 mile bike ride increases the amount of endorphins into the blood stream. A quick fix.


Not so today. So perhaps a little off. As my friend Dan stated, slightly off center. I was not angry. Not moody. Just felt that something was missing from my usual self and when this happens, I feel slightly let down.

Self reliance, it seems, had jumped the ship for a slight detour. Who knows. I just biked home at around 15 mph and even at that speed, I felt nothing. But the cool morning breeze felt wonderful. The pedestrians that smiled and nodded at me as I zipped past them was nice.

I'm just glad Old Soul exists for me when seeking affirmation in the form of a lovely iced latte, drizzled with homemade caramel sauce. And the quick thinking of the barista, who casually mentions that he "accidentally" poured a dollop of that exquisite buttery sweet happiness in.